Did you know that according to this study only 8% of people meet their New Years resolution goals? Why the low success rate? What I have discovered in working with my executive coaching clients is that there is one step that we miss when we set goals that often derails us. Conventional wisdom recommends the following process: 1) Get clear on your SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound) goals, 2) Create an action plan and start executing it, 3) Track progress toward goals, 4) Celebrate successes (even small ones), 5) Don’t let failure discourage you, go back to step #2.
So, what’s the missing step that derails us?
The missing step is aligning our beliefs with our goals.
A Quick Story
One of my executive coaching clients was being groomed for her boss’s job. She always delivered great business results but wanted to get better at inspiring and leading people. She made rapid progress on several coaching goals, but wasn’t making progress on one. People who worked deeper in her organization didn’t know her and didn’t know if they could trust her. As a very high integrity person, she was confused by the feedback.
Then we discovered what had her stuck. It was her belief that she created value by “being productive”. Her belief was that building relationships was non-productive time. Growing up she had been rewarded for hard work, discipline, and achievement. Her parents, seeing that she was sensitive as a child, taught her to protect herself and make sure people didn’t take advantage of her. So she very rarely let her guard down with people. She was selective about trusting others…and the first step in gaining others’ trust is for us to trust them.
Many of the beliefs that derail us are those that we aren’t aware of consciously and we certainly don’t question them. Our beliefs form part of our identity and drive our behavior. When our goals compete with our beliefs, we resist, often unconsciously. Particularly under stress, we resort back to our old behaviors unless we actively work to become aware of and question these beliefs. Sometimes it takes others to help us work through the process.
The Missing Step – to Align Beliefs with Goals
Once we are clear about our goal, here is one way to get our beliefs aligned. We can also try this if we’re not meeting our goals, or if we are behaving in ways that are contrary to our goals.
- Ask yourself “How confident am I that I’ll achieve this goal?” (rate on a scale of 1-10)
- If your rating is anything less than 10, ask yourself “what’s standing in the way of a 10”?
- All the answers we come up with are beliefs that take away our power to achieve the goal.
- Ask yourself “What would be a different belief that would help me achieve this goal”?
- Look for ways to integrate the empowering belief to help you achieve your goal.
In my executive coaching work, I often work with clients to uncover these beliefs and to help them shift to more empowering beliefs. Asking the right questions and digging deeper is critical to the discovery process. In the case of my client, she was able to find ways to more authentically connect with people as she uncovered a belief that no longer served her. She was promoted to her boss’s job a few months later.
As Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements” said: “You see everything is about belief, whatever we believe rules our existence, rules our life.”
As you set powerful goals, I would welcome connecting with you to help you achieve them.
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Great post Henna and it’s so true that goals need to be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Bound) :)
There is also a little technique you can use, if you have the courage that will almost guarantee the achievement of big goals and dreams. It is based on the idea of “social pressure”.
Think about this; let’s say you have a goal to lose a certain amount of weight or achieve some desired level of fitness. You can set the goal privately and tell yourself, “I am going to achieve this goal by August 1.” On the other hand, you can make the goal public by telling all of your friends and family what you intend to do and even give a date for your desired completion.
As soon as you take that goal public, you move into a different state of mind. No longer are you at the mercy of your own self-discipline (which has been tarnished by years of bad habits). Now you have a much more powerful force dictating your day to day actions and decisions.
Thanks Shanna – Good point for us to share our goals with those that can support us!